Spoons and the like

Wading in at the shallow end

nodeath — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 11:15:12 +0000

I’ll just say first off, I couldn’t actually care who gets to number 1 this Christmas. The charts shouldn’t, and never really have, symbolised the love of the record/music enthusiast. They showcase what kids with money in their pocket have thought is totally ‘cool/hip/solid/rocking/fly/dope/ace’ that week, because those are the people that buy singles. Singles are a music enthusiasts first tentative steps into the wider musical world, and while they have a bearing on our life at some point, when personal music discovery kicks in, why should it bother you what is in the charts anymore? Everyone at some point always ends up muttering the same thing, “The charts are shit these days.” Which brings me onto my point for this Tuesday, why do people want RATM at number 1?

What message is it really sending? That you can be mass cajoled into purchasing a record you already own? Do you really think it will actually bother anyone, even in the slightest, if Killing in the Name of gets to number 1? Did the pop manufacturing machine keel over and die when alternative music entered its consciousness before? Because it’s happened a hell of a lot in the past. But the campaign itself is really not what annoys me; it’s the people that are behind it. I’m aware this will make me rather unpopular so allow me to clarify before you try to gouge my internet throat out.

The reason people are joining this campaign en masse is seemingly because they enjoy shouting, they enjoy shouting other people’s views narrow mindedly at anyone who thinks differently. I went through university listening time and time again to ‘views,’ and views are fucking annoying. This is because, mainly, the people who hold them are so blind to anyone else’s opinion that they’ll just shout what they believe to be the truth until the more sensible person walks away, argument won right? Congratulations, you’ve bludgeoned someone into silence, does that feel good? The thing is, who are they fighting in this campaign? Most people who buy any x-factor single will be children or twenty-something call centre operators , who, upon hearing RATM will turn the stereo off, they really woke those guys up right? That’s the message the members of this group are sending out whenever they attack anyone who has an alternate view, see: http://www.nme.com/blog/index.php?blog=10&title=rage_against_the_machine_for_christmas_n&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1

And as for this fucking annoying argument that ‘it’s just a bit of fun.’ In what way is it fun? Its fun when you can tell people afterwards you were involved? And its fun when you can shout at people who didn’t buy it about how blind they are and how you’re so clued up? I can’t see how parting with money for a song you already own is fun, just fucking listen to it again. The thing is a lot of the people behind this campaign are not clued up, they’re arrogant, misguided and don’t even know why they want RATM to be number 1. It won’t be a laugh (those radio unfriendly fucks will once again be censored), it won’t happen and the only joy these people will take from this is you can go back to your /talk boards afterwards and claim there is a massive conspiracy keeping good music from the charts when it doesn’t happen.

I will say now, I have nothing but love for Rage’s music. I own, and enjoy their back catalogue and believe they were a relevant and important musical force; I just hate the people who take an important message and use it to their own ends, ends that don’t even make sense.
How about making a better song Christmas number 1? Any of these would be wonderful Christmas hits and don’t come with half the arse baggage:
The Ramones- Merry Christmas, I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight
Run DMC- Christmas In Hollis
Blink 182- I Won’t Be Home For Christmas
The Raveonettes- Come On Santa

All rocking, and all actual fun (the thing this campaign is supposedly about) even if it is in a sarcastic/cynical way- wouldn’t they be a much more wonderful addition to those Xmas charts?

See?

Turkey and Crackers,
Chris.

Apologies for the neglect

nodeath — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 13:43:54 +0000

Sorry to all you folks out there still reading this, there is apparently a hardcore contingent still looking even if they were just misdirected from damn ass whores. I have been using my live journal of late as I’ve been too lazy to fill in two things at once. Plus, besides falling into a fountain and contracting most of the illness’ weak, reclusive shut-ins can I haven’t really done much to warrant writing a blog about*.

What it took to restart my mind, ironically enough, was the breaking of something else; the unfortunately untrustworthy boiler. Its breaking was symbolic, in a very tenuous way, to my life since leaving full time education. For years I had worked steadily, turning up day after day at the pre-ordained time, and sometimes being switched on all day if an emergency arose. Then all of a sudden I broke, my pilot light went out and I found myself useless; a big fat square useless white bastard if you will. The difference is that when the boiler broke it affected peoples routines, whereas my stagnation has generally gone unnoticed.

Now I’m not saying I’m the only one out there, and I don’t want this to sound like a moan and/or rant as I have happened upon a solution in my own mind. That’s right folks- a solution.

Reminded of something my tutor said, and sparked by a credit card debt letter that arrived the day of the boilers demise (may she rest in watery peace), I have decided to try a shooting fish style experiment in foolishness. Like in the film I’m going to try and cover so many bases and skewer so many angles I can’t help but win; and to paraphrase a Nobel prize winner if I’m going to fail, I’m going to fail in the most ambitious way possible.

What I’m talking about will hopefully become clear by the New Year and this blog will become a record of my adventures**.
If not hopefully I won’t become part of the chair, assimilated into it like some fabric-y freak of nature.

Chase and trip,
Chris.

*Not that this stops anyone else with a blog
**Essentially then, this blog isn’t really written about anything. Hah the double bluff lives on!

Eighties Failbox

nodeath — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 19:28:53 +0000

I’m aware that is probably one of the worst titles I have ever come up with, and using the term fail should see me punished by ‘n00bs’ for all eternity. But upon hearing the previews of the new Eighties Matchbox album fail is the only term I can think of to sum up my feelings.
When bands lose a principal song writer they have a variety of options:
Disband, which each member focusing on their own projects.
Continue playing the same songs in the same style eventually fading away.
Become a parody of yourself and try and emulate earlier successes until you isolate even the most hardcore base.
Enhance your style musically and create something different/experimental enough to retain a shred of dignity.

Unfortunately for people like myself, massive Eighties Matchbox fans, they have been drinking heavily from suggestion goblet two and three. Apparently they fear suggestion goblet four and suggestion goblet one has only been tried by dipping a toe in other bands, beside Rich Fownes. The music they produce now is just sub-par garage music, sung by an Elvis impersonator doing his best Nick Cave impression. Strangely this was what endeared me to the band, but after a decade of it I can’t muster up the same enthusiasm I once had, a problem I seemingly share with the band. Maybe they’ve lost the danger they once had, maybe they shall be saved as always by their live shows or just maybe they’ll produce an album after this of reasonable quality. I however remain un-optimistic.
This may sound like the harsh ramblings of a jilted lover but that’s how I feel, spurned by one I once loved as they promise me just one more time things will be ok. And while I can still stand to see you, I will always remember the happier times as I cuddle up to my Horse of the Dog.
To hear what I speak of here’s a link: Matchbox Myspace.
Prove me wrong good sirs, prove me wrong.

Pass the parcel and returning Decembers,
Chris.

Discussions

nodeath — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:51:24 +0000

I know I’m a little late on this considering it came out last year but I’ve just found one of my new favourite singles of 2008. Discussions by Look See Proof is a jangly Indie record with a hook that has a similar level of catchyness to it as Now We Can See by the Thermals. It’s perfect for times like this when it should be sunny but isn’t. Anyway enough, talk time for action. Enjoy these summery musical meanderings.

Faces and applause,

Chris.

Enter Shikari

nodeath — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 17:47:42 +0000

Click here to see the review of Enter Shikari at the Falmouth Pavilions.

Televangelists and Ducks

nodeath — Wed, 27 May 2009 22:23:59 +0000

Christians are a mad old bunch, whether it be there choice of locations to picket or their more than slightly odd views on how we came to be. Non are more detached from reality than Pat Robertson, a man with such far right leanings I’m guessing he has opposes dressing to the left.
His latest opposition to a law preventing the persecution and abuse of people of ‘different’ sexual orientation is beyond the pale of bizarre. While this law is minorly offensive on it’s own, one that it’s only recently been passed and two that this is classed as sexual difference as if there is one overaching norm; it’s opposition is laughable. As this law has crossed the boundaries and destroyed the norm Pat, our saviour, has confusingly argued a point no one wanted to make. If men and women can no longer be persecuted for their sexual orientation can it be long before peadophiles and duck molesters are rampant in our streets?
All I know is my gut says maybe.
Anyway here is a wonderful response from folk comedy twosome (or the female Conchords) Garfunkel & Oates.

Ducks and Religion,

Chris.

P.S. Bravo to pixienymph for the comment: I’d be your duck. Lovely

In recompense for stealing words…

nodeath — Sat, 02 May 2009 18:26:03 +0000

Fannies!

Hands up who likes Nazis?

nodeath — Sat, 02 May 2009 16:33:25 +0000

Safe to say that I’ll probably get a poor showing on the hand stakes for that one, unless of course there are many film directors watching. The mystifying love of all that is Reich continues unabated in 2009 with people all over the world reveling in the violence meted out or meted on the Nazis, dead or alive.
I talk of course of Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming blood-fest Inglourious Basterds, taking bad spelling to an all new place and slaughtering as many jack booted storm troopers as possible.
The trailer has been circulating for a while and I must say it doesn’t fill me with excitement as much as concern. Showing as it does the weakest excuse for wartime violence ever envisaged, and claiming I have never seen war like this before. I imagine what that means is it will be wall to wall death-killing where plot takes a back seat to the slaughter. Also I disparage the claim about not seeing war like this before, as this is all I’ve been seeing with every war film made since the Second World War, the most horrendous and most subsequently re-imagined war ever. Anyway have a look and make up your own mind, but ask yourself, Tarantino or no, do we really need another World War fantasy?

And on a brighter but no less fascist note we have Dead Snow from director Tommy Wikola. A far more interesting premise, and a wonderful imagining of what I, and anybody else who owns CoD: World at War, has been playing and thoroughly enjoying. But I can’t actually describe the wonder of this film, so you’ll just have to watch the trailer.

Although there isn’t a release date scheduled for this country, I’m pretty sure it’ll be on DVD before too long.

Anyway that’s enough Germans for now.

Boots and Work,
Chris.W

Daylight

nodeath — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 13:43:27 +0000

Before I get bogged down in work for the next few weeks I’d like to draw everyone’s attention to the wonder of Matt & Kim. They’ve recently premiered their new single Lessons Learned on MTV and it’s a brilliant stab at Alanis Morissette but without the Lady Godiva hair coverage.
There are a lot of two person bands out there that have succeeded in sounding better than most 4+ bands, Matt & Kim choosing to play kick drum heavy indie tunes with that all so important synthy twist. They also have an American Los Compesinos! vibe following them, probably because of the singers not quite singing, not quite talking monotone style of vocalization the Welsh ones love so much.
Anyway don’t take my word for it:

Coffee & Sunshine,

Chris

You could be my punk rock princess

nodeath — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 20:34:09 +0000

Old rock songs are great to listen to of a boring evening, a boring evening with only cannelloni to keep you company. I could really do with some Vino (and I am aware how lame that reads).
But I advise all of you to watch Anvil! The Story Of Anvil, it’s depressingly rocktastic and has the best avid fans in the history of rabid fandom. And then to finish off your evening and complete the somber tone listen to Stay Positive. by the Streets and ignore your spellchecker when it says you should have a capital after a full stop.
I’d like to see more incorrect grammar in professional writing though, if only to make me feel better some times. Also then I could see professional writers using the word n00b, and anything that enables that is good in my eyes.
This blog has no point sorry, if you feel I have wasted your time by drawing you in with song lyric titles tell your friends and come round and break my windows. They break relatively easily.

Horse and Cake,
Chris.